Making marriage work.

Since i read this article by Alice S.M Lee on The Star dated 29 October 2007, I really wanted to share it with everyone I know. Through this blog, now I hope rest of you can indulge just like I did. It is a wondrous one indeed!

I enjoy watching elderly couples who hold hands and treat each other as if they were on their first date.Their 'golden marriage' must have withstood more than just the test of time, for them to enjoy wedded bliss right into their twilight years. They must have stayed together through thick and thin, for better or for worse.

Being able to survive a marriage for 40,50, or 60 years is an achievement. With divorce rates on the rise, we can't help but admire these elderly, affectionate couples and assume that their marriage must be filled with love and fulfilment. What does it take for a marriage to last through decades?

Romantic love alone will not ensure that a marriage can last because it is almost impossible for someone to remain in a state of love permanently. The feeling of being in love comes and goes. It does not last. So, if love isn't the ingredient, what is?

We are often misled by the story-book ending of a married couple "living happily ever after". In reality, no lasting relationship survives without hard work. It is quite impossible to live with another person in a close relationship in the same house without problems arising. Every marriage experience tension. The only difference is, happy couples do not just walk away, they have learned to deal with their problems.

Elderly couples who are happily married have learnt to live with their spouse with tolerance, even though their patience might wear thin at times. They have accepted each other's faults and are willing to compromise.

Any long lasting relationship is rarely perfect. So arguments are normal. In fact, it would be worrying if couples stop disagreeing with one another just because it takes much energy. At least, by continuing to bicker and complain, it's a good sign that they are still making an effort to communicate with each other.

Arguments generally do no harm, as long as you do not get mean, sarcastic or show contempt for your spouse. Make an attempt to change the mood as soon as possible to bring about an early reconciliation. In reality, no one can stay mad forever.

Long term marriages thrive on the benefits of being together rather than being on one's own. The different phases of marital relationship are fraught with challenges: adjusting as newlyweds, the arrival of children, balancing a career, the children leaving the nest, and finally retirement and coping with old age.

Life brings unpredictable circumstances. Happiness, sadness, success, disappointments and failures-all these are part of having a life together.

Couples are committed to loving and caring for each other, but there are times when they might hate their spouses due to some differences. Keeping an eye closed, turning a deaf ear-these have worked wonders for many couples. They do not sweat the small stuff. Instead, they focus their energy on doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Many grow up believing marriage is forever. It can be, if both parties are willing to work at it!

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.

Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.

Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.

Martin Luther King, Jr

Cuppa-tea boyyie

Shaarvin!!!!!!!

no! no! no! not the Russian footie player Andrei Arshavin

(though it rhymes)

He's my

only only soft spoken; sweet; oh-so-aww; devilish

cuppatea boyyie <3

Happie bday dearest cousin...

Missed all the times with YOU at melb

Hope you'll grow to be a young fine hunk AND

continue calling me

sayang

[i ingat lagi]
How i told u a mixture of

spider-bat-super-ultra-powerrangers MAN story

for almost an hour so that you will finish ur food;D

AND

I just loved it everytime you mess urself with the

frog-choc!!!

::missin you+thanesh+chubby so much::

Felt so.

I wish to draw a line____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________and wonder where will it end?

Domestic Violence

I woke up with bewilderment of the dream i had moments ago. It seems so real till my emotions were high at stake and tears gushing down my pale cheeks. The dream was like nothing I wished for(read my tag)...convincingly i felt the taste of salt on my lips..and so its true i've fallen for another dreadful dream. I struggled to sit up on the blue flowered bed sheet but my legs wouldn't even budge. I strained my eyes to adjust to the light my Nokia 5200 was illuminating, it was 7.50 am. Sigh! I barely slept an hour ago...I'm thinking of getting professional help on my own before I start to loose my self.

On Wednesday afternoon, I received the anticipated call. Ms.Chandrika, the HR lady confirmed my job placement at the Teledirect Telecommerce. I will be starting on Monday at Plaza Central for a week of intensive training. I have yet to know whether Hesh got it as well (i hope he did or I'll be guilty stricken). Somewhat The news made feel exhilarated as I'm not only looking forward to the experience but a better social life and freedom for few months. I am deeply deprived of all that life has to offer in the past few months due to the lack of communication with people and mundane phases of life.

Well lets come to the post's title; Domestic Violence. Rihanna was supposed to be here entertaining thousands of her fans on the eve of V-day...but she didn't make it due to the fact that she has fallen to be a victim of violence to her much beloved boyfriend; CB. A week before this news spilled out, I read in the Msn Entertainment Site that Rihanna is very much obsessed with CB and cant stand from being of his sight. Less then two weeks, the same Rihanna (ironically: now believed to have suffered a bloody nose, facial bruising and a split lip) has reportedly told police she was in an 'ongoing and escalating abusive relationship' with Chris Brown. Read more on http://entertainment.my.msn.com/Celebrity-Gossip/article.aspx?cp-documentid=2489259.

Lets take CB and her as normal people without any tribute to their fame and success in the music industry. If that's the case, this wouldn't be a major news for many as it tolls up to another domestic violence case in the world. What anyone would least expect is a major artist have been victimised amidst the kind of songs she has released so far(which shows she is tough and wouldn care less ex:take a bow) The bitter fact is that what seems to be convincing to our eyes isn't necessarily the truth we would want to believe.

One thing i am certain is DV can happen to anybody and its best to be aware of the warning signs and examples of abuse includes:

• name-calling or put downs
• keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
• withholding money
• stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job
• actual or threatened physical harm (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc)
• sexual assault
• stalking
• intimidation

AND if you think you don't understand what DV stands for, here's a definition of it:(source:domesticviolence.org)

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

So lets hope Rihanna who is going to turn twenty one this Feb 20th, finds her way out of her miserable relationship. For those of you out there who are being abused or know someone who is abused, grab the bull by the horns:

REMEMBER: You are not alone, it is not your fault and HELP is available!!!

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nesh's 3rd Bday party..

Lil Cutie Yoga Avaneesh and Me

(how i can GLOW with his presence)

The long overdue post which took place in an orphanage's' home in Klang on the 27th Jan 2009 ;




barney and his friends' cake LOL


the Chicky made his way here=)

his mum=my cousin sis

la-la-la

the younger cousin of his and mine

and his name is Sai Arya Prasad

my cousin's in law's TWINS

(they're of Nigerian and Indian mix)

Hmm Reshaun/ Nathan

(even i cant guess them apart)

my neighbour's kid who tagged along

(Sasniisha is like my lil sis)

mom & Nesh's grandma=my aunt

my younger bro wit Aarya

the train prezzie we got for him

(he was hooked into it till he didn bid us farewell)

blurry me and him

AND

a random pic i took which looks like someone's rubbing Chicky's rear

So that was all about it. Short and Sweet for your eyes.
Mum got a call from my cousin sis: Avi's been hospitalized with high fever since Thaipusam day!
I hope he gets well real soon!! Cant wait to see him smile (:

Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaa-huuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

(our notable cheer)


PS: all the pics lack quality..aww cant wait to fix my Canon!!

Twenty5 random bits of SJ

I was tagged by Kirthanna on Facebook...since i came up with this after much effort I've decided to put it here for your eyes!!! Do comment please...

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. Ever since young i favour Barbie dolls than stuffed toy. To date i own countless Barbie's and few stuffed toy(thanxx to my friends)
2. I'm a big fan of bling-blingz! and my fav place to shop for it is CHAMELEON!!!
3. Dogs/puppies I <3 but i don't have any since i live in a condo. What most ppl don't know is that i can actually bark like a puppy.
4. Chivvying my loved ones is my daily routine..my top victims are : vicky and mum
5. When i was eleven, i borrowed a book from The National Library. Guess what? I never returned it till today...ermm im not even planning to do so after this.
6. I appreciate chivalry!!! its a turn-on for ME..
7. I am sensitive: emotionally and physically (diagnosed with allergic rhinitis) Characteristic symptoms include repetitive sneezing; rhinorrhea (runny nose); post-nasal drip; nasal congestion; pruritic (itchy) eyes, ears, nose or throat; and generalized fatigue. -SOBS-
8. Flying insects is a NO-NO for me esp bees+dragonflies. I have been laughed at for running at their sight.
9. I like to dream BIG and one of it involves me wanting to sing for ARR or TIMBALAND's production..
10. I am in LOVE with a book and it is THE BRONZE HORSEMAN!!!!!!!!
not The Twilight Saga.
11. I enjoy being in solitude some time [of my precious] eday.
12. I would want to be involved in philanthrophy once I start working.
13. Piano, violin and the veena. I own and play all three but i'm still an amateur in all three bcoz of time constraint. BUT i would want to master at least one before......
14. Nights, mid-nights, early morning = my optimum time. (i seriously don't know why)
15. The first soap-opera i watched was Mis Tres Hermanas (Venezuela) and i love it to BITS,,,geez,,,
16. I have the habit of LOSING things and FORGETTING where i leave stuffs. [lost 5 calcz, books, erasers, money and MEMORIES]
17. One good thing of me from a guy's view: i aint brand conscious! SO it doesn cost me TONS to just get a pair of shoes, bags, or clothes.
18. When i want to fall asleep or while im doing something still (like watchin tv or skimming newsp) i constantly shake my legs. Can never stop it...sometimes been called to have the parkinson's disease. *giggles*
19. Most things i wish to happen in my life always come TRUE in my DREAMS..and i can almost feel the vibes like its for REAL -weird nah?-
20. I like gazing the SKY day and night. But i love to walk on the street after-rain...inhaling the cool, fresh air and getting my feet wet on the puddles of water and shaking the branches of a tree for rain-droplets' shower=) =)
21. I don't like eating CHOC bars and ice-cream...but i LVE choc cakes/pretzels/bagels/croissants.
22. This number reverberates in my mind; for its the date we became ONE.
23. I hope to entrail the European mainland sometime in the future. [and some other countries like Dubai, Japan, Canada and Mauritius]
24. Angry! I rarely become so but if i do then it must be for a strong reason n it can take AGES to chill back.
25. I can never get enough of CHRISTIAN DIOR esp Dior Addict 2 =D

Scribbles on the coming feb 14

I'm up early today (its ten past six in the morning) and i should say that my insomniac days aren't over since i cant sleep for longer periods without getting up. Anyways, since this Saturday (14th Feb) is one of the most sought after days by young and old every year,I would want to blog about it. In fact, i think there wouldn be much people left out of this big, commercialised event even though their idea of V-day might be only to gain double or triple profits ranging from the florists(since every guy can't get flowers out of their mind), hairdresser(coz both guy and girl wants to look their best), waiter and waitress(for eagerly waiting to be tipped extra), chefs(for struggling with the extra demands) AND any other sales person for various products.

Go to your nearest shopping malls and you can see the deco's are up with the colour most associated to LOVE, uuhm yes RED (my current favourite one not because of this event of course); flick the pages of the newspapers of the coming days (even the last weeks' ones), YOU can browse through more adds and stories on Vday than any other necessary ones; and the same goes to the online web browsers and those who listen to radio and watch the TV.

I had to muster my thoughts to this event since it is ubiquitous. Valentines' Day is risible to me because i don't think anyone who needs true love wishes for such exclusive treats and pampering. Actually one can simply have great time without lavishing so much on materials. Well there are couples who consider the thoughts of putting up something is fairly enough. As for me (and maybe somebody else might agree with me) it is important to garner love than to just wait for the cupid to strike on your behalf.

Nonetheless, all you need is to compromise on your partner's needs and treating her/him with much love and affection than any other day. Well I'm simply saying so,because you might been caught up in a busy life and has no time to make your other half special on these busy days. So why not take the time and effort to be audacious towards this day without giving out too much from your savings? At the least, try not making relationship an intricate one.(no matter whom it involves ex: parents, brothers,sisters,cousins and etc)

For those of you who are singled out, there is absolutely no reason to be dour. Get someone (they don't really need to come from the opposite gender) or just have a stupendous day enjoying everything you have on your own!

So lets wait for the weekend and anticipate a rollicking Valentines' Day!!!

Ps: Nesh i enjoyed my chat with you in the wee hours.

Do not believe in traditions just because they have been handed down for many generations.

candyfloss

He wrote on 3rd February 2009 thinking of me over his lunch :

At 8am, you're ma wake up call;
At 10am, you're ma must have cuppa coffee;
At 1pm, you're ma tasty tasty lunch;
At 3pm, you're ma refreshing cup of tea;
At 7pm you're ma simple meal of dinner;
At 1am, you're ma late late supper.

Thirty/31 days of a month you're being a part of me;
Three hundred and sixty five/six days in a year you're being the soul in me;
and for eternal you're being the only love in me.

Love you dearie baby bubu!!!

She posts this reminiscing the love note while he's soundly sleeping :

Third time lucky???

Tomorrow is the day I've been looking forward since my last (so called second) try of getting a job at the McD call center. To be honest, neither my parents nor my only blood brother wants me to work or even earn some green bills. They had their fair share of reasons on why i should not get one.

Mum: I wont be in peace till you reach back home from work ;
Dad: You better start doing your house chores and learn cooking than to WORK!
Bro: I don't like you going out.

Look this people here are my dear ones and whatever they utter DOES matter to me. Nevertheless, i did not give in too easily. How i told them to lay back:

Mum: I'll definitely give you a call when i reach the workplace and then once again during lunch hours. Besides I'll make sure that my safety is my utmost priority.

Dad : I'll learn up cooking when i need it and actually I'm a good observer so i think learning on

hand isn't necessary now. As for the house chores, bro is there to help out.(evil smile)

Bro : Don't u dare say how i should live and to keep his mouth shut, i said I'll get him the PS2!

Somehow they were convinced but the big question is will i get the JOB?? I don't really know. I have prepared the papers and everything they asked for but(physically)I'm still having flu and my right ear got blocked. Lady Ellyna(whom i called to enquire about the job a yesterday) told me that its a tele-marketing job for some financial and loan products. Being an economy student I am alright in this field well i suppose so. It will be a group interview and i am going to meet my close friend as well (who told me about this job)after a long time. Hope all things go well.

+crossing my fingers; cross yours too for me+

Third time lucky:

The belief that the third time something is attempted is more likely to succeed than the previous two attempts. It is also used as a good luck charm - spoken justbefore trying something for the third time.

True Sportsmen

Initially this was not what i wanted to post today but unexpectedly I glimpsed this on ESPN as my brother annoyingly switched to ESPN when mum and me were watching the Indian drama ; Kolangal.

That was then i saw the news of Rafael Nadal who won his first Australian's Open against the match with Roger Federer. I do watch tennis sometimes so this really caught my attention.

For those of you who have not watched the trophy presentation ceremony, i would persuade you to do so. During this ceremony, the defeated RF weeps in front of the throng because he could not take the loss.I certainly felt sorry for him because for someone who has gained much popularity and fame it will be hard to react in such circumstances.

If you watch the full video, you will come to see and hear Rafael seems taken aback on how sad is his counterpart.The overwhelming part was to see how he managed to be so humble towards his win. I cant say more please watch it and feel for yourself.Well done to both men!

true sportsmen represent: grace in defeat, humility in victory, and

respect to fellow players, fans and journalists alike.